So I went to my local Sears to find out when Craftsman’s new premium ratchets will hit the shelves. The store is located near a cluster of restaurants on a major local highway, and is usually pretty busy. To my surprise the store was nearly empty, but I quickly found out why. I wouldn’t call the employees brainless, but it was like they weren’t firing on all cylinders. Here’s what happened:
Advertisement
So I found an associate in the tool aisle, and asked him about the ratchets. He shrugged one shoulder while the other hung limp and said “uuuuuuuuugh”. I figured maybe he normally worked a different department so I rephrased the question and pointed to a Craftsman thin-profile ratchet. This time he answered with “gglurrrb ruuuuug.” Huh? “uuuhhhhh ruuuhhhhh.” Great, thanks for nothing.
I turned around and walked to the next aisle where I spotted another associate standing next to a fallen display of Craftsman Nextec cordless tools. I tried to get her attention, but she seemed kind of spaced out and didn’t even look my way. She was sort of leaning against the tool counter, so maybe she was just tired. I called her a jerk under my breath and walked away.
Finally, about to leave, I passed a third associate standing at a register. A manager approached from behind him, and was in the processing of loading a staple gun. I noticed that there was a bit of red goo oozing down the side of the associate’s neck and dripping down his shirt. It looks like it was coming from his head right behind his left ear, but that doesn’t seem right. I spotted a few ratchets on the counter in the process of beind rebuilt. Maybe he had a mishap lubing the gears up? I didn’t see the assembly grease and wondered what the manager’s staple gun was for.
When the manager was done loading the staple gun, I asked about the ratchets. He said they’re all out of hatchets and if I had a brain I should check the lawn and garden section just to be safe. He also mentioned that there might still be a few Dead-on Annihilator wrecking bars on the shelf.
Ratchets, I said, R-A-T-C-H-E-T-S. “uuuu uunnttttth”. I looked behind me and saw that the second associate, the one I called a jerk, was walking towards us. “One month”? Is that what she said? She was walking towards us slowly and kind of funny, as if she had a busted ankle. I remembered the toppled stack of Nextec tools and realized she must have tripped – that’s why she seemed so distracted and was walking funny.
Since I finally had an answer, I thanked the associates and turned around to leave the store. I heard the staple gun go off a few times and glanced back behind me. It looked like the manager was stapling something to the third associate’s head and neck, but I must have seen it wrong.
The whole ordeal took a lot longer than expected. Customer service has really deteriorated these days, hasn’t it? Maybe the store will liven up as the winter holiday shopping season approaches.
Sears Zombie Portal (credit for the find goes to my wife)
uthscsaedu
That is the weirdest Sears experience I’ve ever heard of.
I thought the picture was fake, but alas it is real.
DC
LOL
Stuart
=) Thought you’d like it.
ross maiers
So I’m lost here, did the sears have the premium ratchets?
Stuart
As far as I know, they’re not in-store yet, but you can buy them online. Well, once they’re back in stock at least.
1/4″ Drive | 3/8″ Drive | 1/2″ Drive
teicher
Glad your Sears is enjoying some Halloween fun, but mine’s like that year round. It’s always empty and creepy in there, even in mid-April.
Stuart
To be truthful, the above is pure fiction. My local Sears does have a bunch of stiffs working there, so this is something I doubt they would ever do. As far as I know, only the Sears site has been zombie-ified.
I used to enjoy shopping at a Sears Essentials, but they closed due to an unresolvable conflict with the landlord. I was told that the landlord wanted to hold out for higher rent and wouldn’t renew the lease. Now there’s an empty store and an empty lot.
My new local Sears really seems to be nearly abandoned sometimes, at least the tool department does. When there’s actually someone manning the tool aisles, if they see me showing interest in a product they don’t carry, they try to convince me to buy it from their kiosk to enjoy free home-shipping. I don’t really mind this and would take advantage of it, but if I know there’s something I want that I cannot find locally, I just wait for a good sale and order online.
jeffrey
when the sockets and combo wrenches are not USA made anymore, i will never BUY a tool at sears again. i will only go there to exchange broken tools. i will then only go into sears to extract my pound of flesh. my loyalty to craftsman has waned as their loyalty to america has waned.
every time i go, more tools are made in china.
Sean
I think what Sears had going for them was the old time hardware store atmosphere. But, just like any hardware store they bring in associated that are completely clueless.
Protoman
I had a very similar situation at the local Sears. I asked about the new line of Craftsman Premium ratchets also, and the guy just looked at me and was clueless. I even asked him if he worked in the tool department and he said yes. Doesn’t Sears educate there employees about new products coming out? The customer service at Sears has disappeared to me. Even the warranty is a bunch of crap now. I went in with my 1/4″ drive Craftsman ratchet that busted and wanted to exchange it for a new one. The guy in the tool department directed me to the customer service desk for a rebuilt ratchet. I went to the desk and the woman gets me a refurbished ratchet that had all new internals, but the chrome on the ratchet was all scratched and chipped, my ratchet at least still had all of its chrome on it and still looked decent, it just didn’t work anymore. I was kind of upset about it and thought, of all the ratchets that they get back, couldn’t they only refurbish the ones that still have a nice finish on them and disguard or redip the bad ones?